Pride and Humility

This seems to be what God is teaching me lately. I've been sitting on other things that happened last Saturday on our medical outreach to the Rio and Cadereyta area. I was so looking forward to reporting back to you all that God was going to do that day and quite frankly had in mind that I would be a significant part of all of that. Well, God had other plans.
As I have written before, I had encouraged my family to come along on this day. At the last minute I was asked to go to a different spot than my family was going. This took a moment to adjust to but I want to serve any place God would have me. And I knew my family would play a part in playing with the kids and enjoy themselves. I had planned to introduce my family to my many friends in the Cadereyta. Part of my agenda was to show off my friends and how many people I knew. God had other plans.
When I got to the Rio, I was asked to take a mainly Spanish speaker and our B2B Suburban and go pick up people in another location. I jumped at the chance, excited to bring more people to get help from these doctors. Meme and I started off in the suburban and I was quick to notice that a much shorter person had been driving this vehicle. I felt like I was inches from the windshield (a total exaggeration). As we made our way out of the Rio, Meme was quick to tell me something of which I stopped quickly since I wasn't sure what she wanted. It turned out that I hadn't seen a trench that we were getting ready to run into. Sighing in relief, I knew God had protected us. I thought we could have easily been stuck but....God had other plans.
The next 10 minutes, I hit a speed bump that sent 3 -5 gallon jugs of water pouring out in the middle of the vehicle, I had turned around once as I wasn't understanding Meme's directions.
When we got to Dos Rios, Meme went to gather those who were coming back to us and I opened all of the doors trying to empty out the water from the suburban. Surprisingly, only 3 women and 3 kids came back with us.
Upon the return trip, I found myself understanding Meme, less and less. I had to do a u turn in the middle of a road and the last intersection we went through a Volkswagen bug nearly ran into us. I really thought I was going to be in an accident, God had other plans.
All of this happened in the first 30 minutes. I had visions of being able to offer so much to God that day. ..my increasing Spanish, my medical knowledge, background and skills and my people skills and willingness to be apart of that day. God had other plans.
I spent the next hour or so fighting off Satan's lies. Lies like Meme would never drive with me again, that she would share with everyone all my mistakes, that if I couldn't drive 10 minutes what else couldn't I do, that my driving reflects my self worth, and had me questioning what I possibly had to offer to God.
After a few tears, much prayer, and encouragement from my friend Katie, the Lord brought me out of my low self esteem. He allowed me to see how He was using those around me. Friends of ours, who were praying for these people with a genuine heart, her preteen daughter who was loving serving him, the compassionate doctors whose compassion bridged the language gap, on staff offering the gospel to a man for the third time when this day he was ready, another staff who offered concern for a man under the influence of alcohol who chose not to be seen, and yet another staff who's heart was broken as he heard the stories of the people. I have done my fair share of feeling sorry for myself but that day the Lord helped me not to be stuck there.
Last Saturday, I thought I was offering myself to be used by the Lord. God had other plans.
God showed me that my worth is not found in my performance, what I do for him, or how others think of or see me as. My worth and identity is found in the Lord Jesus alone.
"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:10