Just being transparent.......

This is a picture of me,two of my sisters and my Mom last Christmas. I can't tell you enough about my mom. She is the life of the party, a pretty lady, tough as nails and sensitive to all around her. She has never known a stranger and a lover of the Lord. I'm not sure Blogger will allow me enough words to tell you all about her. Suffice it to say she is a wonderful person and I'm blessed that she is my Mom. The last 5 years or so, She has battled with Parkinson's disease and my Dad has battled right there with her. Last year about his time, My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. I won't bore you the details, however to say the least for several years now, It has been difficult to see my mom go down hill. This past month she has fallen into the latter stages of Alzheimer's and she has severe back pain to boot.
In my role here at B2B, I feel like people often think we are super people or something. Really so far from the truth its laughable. However, I have found myself expecting more from me because of it. As if I think I should be super something. It makes me wonder if we do that to those in ministry because then we know that what God has expected of them surely He won't expect from me. I am guilty of it also when I read that Moody prayed 3 hours every morning or that someone else was asked to give up all they own or another sacrifice I can't possible imagine doing. Just to clarify I don't think I'm a Moody or a Graham or all that and a bag of chips. However when I hear others say they admire me I wonder what for and what should I be doing to gain this. The truth is they see the Lord and how He enables me to do extraordinary things with just ordinary me. So I am learning in this very difficult time, to not keep this to myself. To ask for help and prayer and to continue to do the only ordinary thing I know how. Trust. The Bible says that when we are weak, He is made strong. I am trusting that his strength shines through, not mine (truth is right now I have none). My faith frees me from being who others think I should be and do and instead pray out my feelings, listen for His words and obey what He calls me to do.
My mom is currently in a nursing home and last week I had the opportunity to spend a week with my Dad and visit her. Such a difficult week and one I will cherish forever. God is showing me how privileged we are to experience those intimate times with loved ones. Thank you Lord. I am Blessed.