A Walk to Remember.....

Yesterday morning I went with three other staff women to walk and pray through a dorm at one of the children's homes. One of our staff women, Mandy, has a strong burden for these older boys who live in the dorm. There are 17 boys who range in age from 12-15 years of age. Recently two of the boys have made attempts to kill themselves. As we went I really had no idea what to expect, just that we were praying for boys who are hurting in a way I couldn't imagine.
When we arrived at the children's home, the encargadas (workers) were in prayer. We decided to pray outside in the palapa (a shelter with a thatched roof). As we sat down, Lola joined us. Lola is a 30 something year old woman with down's syndrome. I said to her, "Vamos orar" which means "lets pray". She knelt on her knees to pray. After 5 minutes I was convicted by her postition and went on my knees. 20-30 minutes later she was still on her knees as I had switched to various position before finally resting on my bottom. The Lord taught me a lot through her actions. The picture of her tiny body curled up on the palapa concrete floor will not soon leave my mind.
After praying in the palapa, we recieved permission to walk through the dormitory to pray. Before entering we spoke with Mareno about the trouble some of the boys were having. He described how the two boys had made attempts and how that trickles down to the rest of the boys. He spoke of how the workers pray daily for these boys and pray that they can see God through them. His humility was obvious as he described their needs and care for these boys. Personally it seems like a daunting task. I was convicted to pray more for all of the workers of the children's home we serve.
As we began to walk and pray I became so overwhelmed with emotion. I felt hurt like I hadn't before. We first walked into a room of the older boys. The first bed had a "tweety bird" on the pillow. I couldn't help but think of all of the reasons he had that. Did someone special give it to him. Mom, Dad, someone else. Was he frightened at night and this helped him through the rough times. The next bed had several blankets. You could smell urine throughout the room. I couldn't help but pray for these boys when they were sick at night with no one to help them. Or the embarrassment of wetting your bed at that age and in front of 7 other boys. I wondered of the spiritual attacks that happened at night. Mental messages that they are nothing, or no one cares. Its those times in bed that your mind is flooded with those kids of thoughts.
We then prayed in the other room where we found 9 beds. In the few belongings that each boy owned more questions came about. Why did he draw a skull on his shelf? This was one of the boys who attempted to kill himself. I lingered longer here, praying for him to find his identity with Christ. Lord, put someone in his life to show him You Love Him. Help him to see it. Help them all to see it. As I touched walls and beds and chairs that they sat on I was overwhelmed with hurt and wondering what a typical day would be like. I kept thinking that this is such an age where you doubt everything, have a hard time liking anything, and spend most of your time protecting yourselve because if you don't no one else will.
Can you tell I was impacted heavily? I can't stop thinking about it, even though my life is full of so many other things. I am convicted to pray more. For the kids, the workers, the families, so much work to do. Will you join me?